James, listen to me.
There’s a lie they tell men like you. A lie that’s stitched into every expectation, every whisper from a mother’s lips, every sideways glance from the married men who lost their fire decades ago. The lie is simple.
That you are incomplete without a woman. That you are unfinished without a home to go to. That, at some point, you must stop chasing the wind and sit down, plant roots, and let life happen to you.
But let me tell you something Son. Something they don’t talk about in polite company.
You’ve already seen what happens to men who follow the script. You’ve watched them decay inside homes they built for someone else. You’ve watched them let their freedom rot while they cut the grass and nod along to stories they don’t give a shit about, pretending they aren’t slowly being consumed by the expectations of a wife who sees them as an asset rather than a man.
You saw what happened to your other father. Unmarried. Alone. And the only thing he lacked? Thirty-minute hospital visits from a woman who would have stripped him of his friends, his hobbies, his fucking adventures just so she could sit next to him and pretend he wasn’t already gone.
That’s not love. That’s ownership. That’s a goddamn landlord checking in on her investment.
Now, let’s talk about this running you keep bringing up. This idea that maybe you’re running from something instead of toward something. That maybe you’re afraid of love, afraid of staying still, afraid of what comes next.
Bullshit.
You aren’t running from anything.
You’re the only one actually living.
The rest of them? They stopped. They settled. They told themselves this was enough. And you, the bastard who refused to lay down, are somehow supposed to be the broken one? Because you wouldn’t let yourself be tamed? Because you chose a bigger life?
No.
Men like you aren’t meant to be domesticated. You were meant to move. You were meant to live on your terms, to follow the hunger that pulls you forward. There’s no shame in that.
But I’ll tell you what you do need to watch out for—hunger will eat a man alive if he doesn’t know when to stop to take a breath.
Freedom is intoxicating, but it’s also exhausting. And if you don’t find a way to pace yourself, you’ll burn out before you even reach the finish line. That’s the real danger—not loneliness, not dying alone, but burning out before you’ve truly lived.
Your ex-wife sees you as Desperado because she doesn’t understand what it means to be a free man. She thinks you’re lost. But James, you’re not lost—you’re just not in a cage.
She is.
That woman is remarried, sexless, loveless, still sleeping in your old bed like a goddamn ghost. That’s who you’re supposed to take advice from? Someone who rebuilt the same prison she begged to escape? Someone who clings to routine because it’s all she has left?
Fuck that.
You’re asking the wrong question, my friend.
You keep wondering if you’re running away from something. If you’re avoiding something real. But let me ask you something:
Why the hell would you ever stay?
You already know what waiting around looks like. You already know what the “safe” path leads to—watching men in your life shrivel up and die without ever really having lived.
You want fatherly advice? Here it is.
- Stop Apologizing for Who You Are
Some men were meant to build houses and plant gardens. You were meant to chase storms. Not everyone is built for this life, but you are. You owe no one an explanation for why you refuse to sit in the same chair for the next twenty years waiting to die.
- Women Will Come and Go—That’s Fine
You will love. You will lose. You will leave. You will be left. That’s life. That’s the cost of never settling. But don’t confuse love with ownership. Don’t let someone else’s expectations become the thing that traps you. Love should be a choice, not a prison sentence.
- Money is a Tool—Not the Goal
You’re busting your ass, counting the days until child support ends so you can finally go. Good. Go. But don’t let money be the thing that stops you from living. If you need to work a little longer to build the foundation, do it. But don’t let it be the excuse that keeps you in one place.
- Don’t Waste Time on People Who Want to Control You
The people who truly love you? They don’t want to change you. They don’t want to “fix” you. They don’t need to trap you to keep you. The moment someone starts telling you who you should be, walk away. They don’t want you—they want a version of you that makes them more comfortable.
- South America is Waiting
You’ve made the decision. You’re going. So go. There will always be a reason to stay, to wait a little longer, to put it off until the time is “right.” But the right time is whenever you say it is.
And let me tell you something else—no matter where you go, no matter how far you travel, no matter how many places you call home, you are always going to be the same man.
That hunger? That itch? It’s never going to leave. That’s not a curse. That’s who you are.
So the real question isn’t “Am I running from something?”
The real question is, “How much more of this world can I see before my time runs out?”
If you’re a Desperado, then own it.
If you’re a man who can’t be tamed, then stop trying to fit into a world built for people who gave up.
If you die alone, then let it be because you were too damn busy living to slow down for death to catch up.
And when the time comes, and you finally do go, let it be with the dirt of every country on your boots, with the taste of adventure still on your tongue, with nothing left to chase—because you chased it all.
That’s a life worth dying for.
Sign ~ Dad
